On Play

Some insights from the science of play and a few thoughts on what play means to me.

From since I started exploring movement, I came to realise what I enjoy the most in this field is the play aspect. The simple yet complex movement situations (term used by Fighting Monkey) where through each interaction with a partner, or many partners, we learn how to listen, or better yet, learn that we do not know how to listen, we engage in nonverbal communication, mutual awareness, we show our vulnerability. Just like in any relationship, play requires trust, an emotional closeness, that we open ourselves and accept others for who they are. And through trusting others, we come a bit closer to learning how to trust ourselves. Through the simplicity of play, we can learn about the nature of human relationships. 

We all know that certain intimacy cannot be reached through words. And the purest form of intimacy, maternal love or attunement, expresses itself initially through facial expression, touch and joyful sounds. The brain rhythm of the baby becomes attuned with the one of the mother. What Donald Winnicott calls ´quiet love´. This is play at its most basic, and it becomes a foundation for engaging in play later in life. Attunement is also critical for later emotional self-regulation and forming healthy attachments. But this is a topic for a longer blog post so I will leave it at that! 

Play is a requirement for healthy development and the urge to play is built into our genes. Jaak Panksepp, aka the rat tickler, neuroscientist, identified seven basic emotional states that all living mammals have: seeking, fear,  rage, lust, caretaking, grief and PLAY. These primal emotions are with us at birth, pre-wired in our midbrain—an ancient part of the human brain. The instinct to play is built into our biology, and a lot of times we tend to surpress it, as we do not give it much importance. But play is important because it is PURPOSELESS, because it allows us to explore things that feel safe enough to explore,  the unexpected loss and risks without actually failing or losing. Here is a short video explaining how play develops social skills.

In Homo Ludens, Huizinga defines play as: “Play is a voluntary activity or occupation executed within certain fixed limits of time and place, according to rules freely accepted but absolutely binding, having its aim in itself and accompanied by a feeling of tension, joy and the consciousness that it is ‘different’ from ‘ordinary life.’” 

I believe we can find our own definition, while we actually are in the midst of play. However, I asked an expert in the field, my 11 yr old buddy, and he said: ´Play means to have fun, a moment where you can do whatever you feel like doing. Play is joy´. I think many of us can relate to his definition. I remember at his age for me play meant running around barefoot in the tiny Romanian village, hopping into horse carriages and diving head first into ponds with gipsies. 

My play space - the court where basketball meant pure joy.

Then I discovered basketball as PLAY. In my small town in Romania, that meant one court, where all the ballers as we liked to call ourselves, gathered to play street ball, show off with cool urban fashion (think that finding Sean John, And1, Rocawear in Romania was no easy task), and made sure to bring our smoothest crossovers. For the next few years, that court for me was what the greeks would call temenos, a sacred magic circle, a sacred space where one can be himself without fear. We all need a safe, clearly defined play space as it is essential for creative healing and growth. Within that space, I allowed myself to dream. BIG. It was a space where I could use my imagination, where I could express myself freely and where I felt belonging. It was also a space that was an ´escape´. From home, from reality, from being a lost teenager slowly gathering more and more stuff in the ´emotional baggage´.

This feeling of complete joy and playfulness on the basketball court carried on to organised practice for a few years, until things became more serious and I joined professional teams. When the goal is winning, when the goal is making playoffs, when the goal is scoring points, things became truly different from me. Was it really the pressure of the elite sport environment? Was it my childhood years? Was it my strong athletic identity? Many factors can be discussed here. Huizinga differentiates between Play & Game ´PAIDEIA´´ VS ´´LUDUS´´, Paideia: spontanous, creative and improvised; Ludus: organized and rule bound. When paideia becomes ludus, and there are expectations, external awards and pressure (internal or external), to achieve the state of play, there needs to be ´playfulness´. When we perform within a game, when there are rewards, profits or loss, when there are external things involved, could it be that art, creativity, spontaneity is blocked? When the focus is on the process and exploring, and not on the results, do we become more players, rather than performers?

Not the most joyful face or posture right?

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And the more I pursue play, the more I come closer to myself. Looking back, I realize, how far away I was from ´myself´. Who was that basketball player that stepped on the court with hands all sweaty and heart beating at 100 miles per hour, I wonder? I also wonder how much pressure was internal and how much was actually external. And why did I keep going, if it caused me to suffer?

Play is a state of being that expands our potential, it gives us the opportunity to return back to our initial being and to the child in us who finds the world a wonderful exploring joyful space. I will always remind myself to remain in the unknown, just like the when I first grabbed a basketball and looked at it in awe and with curiosity smiled and asked the older baller: ´How do I hold it?´

Food for thought:

What's your play space? How can you engage more in play on a daily basis? Is your sport or craft still bringing you joy?

PS. If you would like to share something, please reach out and I will be happy to add your article to upcoming newsletter.

Sources:

Marks-Tarlow, T. (2018) Play and creativity in Psychotherapy. New York: W.W Norton & Company.

Brown, S.L. and Vaughan, C.C. (2010) Play how it shapes the brain, opens the imagination, and invigorates the soul. New York: Avery.

Huizinga, J. and Eco, U. (2009) Homo ludens. Torino: Einaudi.

Nachmanovitch, S. (2010) Free play improvisation in life and art. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam.